You Don't Want To Watch Argo With Me

Thoughts about the hit movie and what it gets wrong

History class is BACK! Now let me tell you how the Argo situation started. One random night I sat down to watch the episode “Zero Larp Thirty” from my favorite casual watch show Bob’s Burgers. In case you didn’t know, every Bob’s Burgers episode title is a pun or riff of something else. I decided to look up what “Zero Larp Thirty” is supposed to be, which brought me to "Zero Dark Thirty, a movie about finding and killing Osama Bin Laden. That movie is terrible, don’t watch it. However, that led me to Argo, which led me to watching the documentary about the Iranian Hostage Crisis on HBO which led me to this Substack. Argo is without a doubt a great drama. It’s a good watch. It’s in my top 4 movies on Letterboxd. However, you don’t want to watch it with me because you’ll have to spend the majority of the movie listening to me complain about the inaccuracies of the entire second half. The good news is, you don’t have to watch it with me. You’re just going to read everything I have to say about it now instead.

Tensions in Iran were building and in 1979, the Iranian Revolution finally started. Iranians were tired of seeing the Shah’s lavish lifestyle while they suffered. Many considered the Shah to be nothing but a puppet controlled by the western world. The western world wasn’t hiding their support of the Shah either. The Shah willingly left Iran for Egypt in January of 1979. Shapour Bakhtiar was appointed prime minister. Bakhtiar allowed Ruholla (Ayatollah) Khomeini, a prominent religious leader and opponent of the Shah, back into Iran in February. In October of 1979, the Shah was admitted into a United States hospital for lymphoma treatment. Iranian’s growing discontent with American involvement in Iran was not a secret. Admitting the Shah into American hospitals confirmed that the United States did not care about the Iranian people. This was the turning point. During a general demonstration in November of 1979, students loyal to Khomeini successfully swarmed the U.S. embassy. Hostages were taken, thus establishing the Iranian Hostage Crisis that would plague Americans for the next year and a half.

My one paragraph synopsis of the Iranian Hostage Crisis of course doesn’t cover it. It’s just there to give some context. This story isn’t even about any hostages but rather six Americans who somehow evaded capture but were then stuck in Iran with the entire country searching for them. The six diplomats were named Robert Anders, Cora Amburn-Lijek, Mark Lijek, Joseph Stafford, Kathleen Stafford and Lee Schatz. The first part of Argo illustrates the moment Iranian students break into the embassy. All six non-hostages had the right idea at the exact right time. The movie explains this well. Sure, it skips over that the hostages actually spent time at the British embassy prior to landing at the Canadian compound, but that’s not a huge issue. The important thing to know is that the non-hostages had no way of leaving Iran. If they walked out of the compound, they’d be recognized and taken hostage immediately.

Of course, the American government, and general public, was torn apart by the hostage crisis. It was everywhere. Everyone knew about what was going on in Iran. My dad, who was around eight at the time the hostages were first taken, told me him and his friends used to say “I walk, I run, Iran” going from a thumbs up, to an index finger, to a middle finger. Get it? For President Jimmy Carter, this was the worst thing that could happen. It was almost an election year. He needed to figure this whole thing out now. This is where the CIA comes in.

Actually, it isn’t really where the CIA comes in, it’s where Canada comes in. The story of Argo in real life is called the Canadian Caper (isn’t that such a Canadian name?). First of all, the Canadians made the choice to aid the six Americans. This put the Canadian embassy in great danger. Not only that, but the Canadian Secretary of State for External Affairs and the Prime Minister were willing to create fake Canadian passports for the six to help them out of Iran. Everyone mentally thank the Canadians right now.

This is where the CIA actually comes in. Two of their best agents, Tony Mendez (Mr. Argo) and Ed Johnson were tasked with creating a cover story for the six. They worked with the Canadian government to get the passports done, but they also essentially created Argo. Except it wasn’t called Argo, it was called Lord of Light based on the book. Rosey Grier of football and Free to Be… You and Me (see my last Substack) was set to star. Lord of Light never actually made it to production, but the script already existed. Lord of Light/Argo meant to have a Middle Eastern feel to it, making it realistic that Iran might be a legitimate filming location.

Mendez and Johnson enlisted John Chambers, a very cool and famous make up artist to create Studio Six Productions, the production company for Argo. The six in Studio Six is for the six diplomats. He had done other science fiction movies and knew the Hollywood process much better than they did. Ads for Argo were created and put into newspapers. There was always someone ready to answer the phone at the Studio Six headquarters that weren’t real. Months of planning went in to making a movie up until actual filming.

Mendez and Johnson flew into Iran in January 27, 1980. The diplomats were taken to the airport. They got on a plane. They left Iran. That’s it. No one even questioned them. Other than a small typo on their visas, which was fixed, there was no real drama. But that would make a pretty boring movie.

Argo, the actual movie, does not paint this same picture. It’s not that the movie is completely made up because it isn’t. It’s that Argo does not properly depict the Iranian Revolution and it gives little to no credit to Canada. Also that the last 45 minutes are totally made up.

Let’s start with how Argo depicts Iran. In watching that movie with no knowledge on the Iranian Revolution, I saw Iranians united in an anti-American fervor. They were all chanting “marg bar Amrika” aka death to America. However, Argo oversimplifies the Iranian Revolution. It’s a seriously complex historical event that requires a deep knowledge of Iranian history and culture to truly understand. I am not an expert, but even I can tell that Argo wants the viewer to be anti-Iran. The whole movie relies on the viewer being afraid of Iranians. Iranians were upset with the state of the country at the hands of the Shah and they protested. While the movement created the modern Iran we now know, I highly doubt that every protestor expected things to turn out this way. The Hostages documentary on HBO gets more into this if you’re interested. I am by no means saying that I agree with the taking of hostages or with the Iranian government. I am saying that the Iranian Revolution is not well understood and Argo heavily relies on that assumption.

Now onto Canada. In Argo, there is not nearly enough emphasis on Canada saving the day. Without their participation, and passports, the diplomats would not have made it out. Yes the CIA came up with the movie thing and actually escorted the diplomats out, but none of that would have been possible without Canada.

Ok, let’s talk about the ending. In Argo, it’s revealed that the diplomats’ housekeeper knows what’s going on. They worry she’s going to report them. One Mendez (Ben Affleck) gets to Iran, things get super crazy. He wants them to go to the bazaar to make their cover seem real. The diplomats do not want to take the risk. They do and things get hostile. Mendez gets word that the CIA is backing out of the mission and he should not take the diplomats to the airport. He doesn’t tell the diplomats and goes on with the plan. Finally they’re on the way to the airport. At check in the attendant says she sees no tickets for their party. In America, the CIA decides to rejoin the mission and books tickets at the last minute. They all go through. Everyone clears the first security checkpoint. At the gate, things get worse. A military guy yells at the crew in Farsi. Their nervous energy weirds him out so he pulls them aside. Mendez shows him a Studio Six movie card and he calls the number. After an agonizing amount of rings, Chambers picks up. Convinced, he lets the crew board the plane. Literally seconds after they board, the guy realizes that these were the missing Americans and tries to stop them but he’s too late! The rest is less exciting but it’s nice to see them all relax when the flight crew announces the plane is out of Iranian airspace.

Now what if I told you literally none of that happened. In the real story, there was no bazaar visit. There were three separate sets of plane tickets booked. No one was stopped at the airport. Yes, the story is still cool. No, Argo is not historically accurate. You know what else is crazy, they just removed Ed Johnson from the movie. His character doesn’t exist despite being a major part of the actual event. Classic Hollywood.

Everyone who knows me in real life knows I hate when historical movies aren’t accurate. Yet, Argo is in my top five. I can recognize what’s wrong with it and still enjoy it which is rare. Maybe it’s because I know the real story that I’m able to enjoy the fake one. There’s a Wired article from 2007 that inspired the movie, but I don’t have a subscription so I couldn’t read it. Also I was only told that my show was back up again three hours ago for a radio show tomorrow so this was all a little hasty. Cut me some slack I’m a busy, suffering college student. Anyway, your homework for tonight is to watch Argo, then Hostages, then write me a 500 word double spaced 12 point Times New Roman font paper of what you’ve learned. Just kidding, instead listen to my radio show now on Mondays at 11am PST. See you next week!

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