It's Time to Raise the Curtain

You had to know it was coming: The Muppet Show episode is HERE!

Most kids born in the early 2000s grew up watching Disney Channel stuff. Or Nickelodeon. Or Cartoon Network. Most doesn’t feel big enough to describe just how many people were watching these channels. It seemed like it was everyone except me. Instead of Disney, my parents threw on DVDs of the shows they grew up watching like The Electric Company or Schoolhouse Rock!. Most weekends, however, were dedicated to The Muppet Show. I would say a lot of my interests now could be credited to watching The Muppet Show regularly. My screensaver is Dr. Teeth. I started collecting old issues of Muppet Magazine, which are very annoying to find. I’m writing my thesis about Sesame Street because the Muppets alone weren’t historical enough for a big argument, though I did write an op-ed about how variety shows are dying using The Muppet Show as my main example. I also have Muppet posters, Muppet trading cards, and Muppet records. I just really love the Muppets. This week’s Substack is a little different because I’m not telling a super historical story but rather I’m talking about what I like. This might be a two part episode where I build on this foundation in a later week to talk more about the show’s guests. I’m also going on the Californian (the official tall ship of California) for a class and need to be on the trolley by 12 at the latest, so I wanted to pick something fun and easy that wouldn’t take up the full hour. By full hour I mean my radio show version of history class which airs Mondays at 11am on KSDT. If you like my Substack, you should give my show a listen.

Let’s get right into it: what is a Muppet? A Muppet is really just a puppet. Rumors have claimed that the word “Muppet” is a combination of marionette and puppet, but Jim Henson has denied this. No one quite knows where the name came from. Now, Muppets kind of refer to puppets made in Jim Henson’s style. Think big ping pong ball eyes, distinct noses, a lot of felt, and hair. Most Muppets and hand puppets, controlled by a singular person’s arm, though some muppets are bigger. Muppets like Sweetums (a massive monster named for his sweet disposition) are a suit worn by a puppeteer. These Muppets tower over the rest of the cast. Unlike Sesame Street, which first aired in 1969, the Muppets of The Muppet Show are all distinct characters. Sesame Street in comparison often uses Anything Muppets which are generic bodies and faces that can usually be changed to suit the scene. The Muppet Show relied on a cast of known Muppets in order for the idea of a variety show to succeed.

When Jim Henson agreed to use his Muppets for Sesame Street, he did not want to limit their use to only children’s television. Muppets were actually part of the early planning of Saturday Night Live, though they didn’t last there long. Henson was extremely worried about his Muppets being deemed as children’s characters and then no longer taken seriously, which is exactly what happened with SNL. The Muppet Show was where the difference between Sesame Street and The Muppet Show Muppets became clear. No longer would Muppets like Kermit visit Sesame Street, they were now in totally different worlds. Only when Henson died did the Muppets from both shows come together publicly. Technically, the performers doubled up for both shows. For example, Frank Oz was Grover, Cookie Monster, and Bert, but also Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Animal, and Sam Eagle. The separation between shows was really so Henson could have the Muppets do things that might not fly on such regulated children’s programming like Sesame Street. While the Muppets mostly stayed kid friendly, this distinction gave Henson more freedom to use the Muppets for his own projects.

The Muppet Show first aired in 1976 in the UK where it was filmed. Henson’s work on SNL seemed to train him for what a variety show could be. No US channel wanted to sponsor Henson’s idea which was how it got to the UK. Lord Lew Grade made a proposal to the Henson Company which provided all necessary funds for the show. The Muppet Show is somewhat like SNL, only more appropriate and maybe even weirder. It still made its way across the pond, but some segments were cut for US audiences. The show was not successful in its first year with American audiences. However, by season two, the Muppets found their groove and the show became an international success. It was dubbed in several languages and ran for five years. It only stopped airing because Henson wanted to move onto bigger projects, and he did with The Dark Crystal, which I haven’t seen.

Now that we’ve gone over the concept of the Muppets, we can finally talk about the actual Muppets. There’s hundred of Muppet characters and I can’t go over all of them, though I wish I could. As a result, here’s a rundown of the more important Muppets:

Kermit the Frog is Henson’s most famous Muppet without a doubt. He’s a weird looking thing, not really a frog, but it’s in his name so that’s that. He first appeared in some of Henson’s early shows like Sam and Friends. Because the puppeteer’s hand is in Kermit’s head, he’s able to make some funky expressions. I like to make Kermit faces sometimes. He’s the host of The Muppet Show and is constantly stressed out by everyone’s antics. He typically has a chat with the night’s guest star and sometimes sings with them. He’s the most professional of the crowd which sometimes comes off as ambivalence and dislike. Despite being constantly frazzled, he’s shown that he truly cares about his Muppet friends. Though he might not always accept it, he’s dating Miss Piggy.

Miss Piggy is the star of the show and she’d tell you that herself. I haven’t always liked Miss Piggy, but she’s grown on me in recent years. If you get in her way, she’ll karate chop you. She appreciates the finer things in life for sure, but I think (even though her puppeteer is a man) that she’s a tough woman. She can bend metal bars, play instruments, tap dance, drive a motorcycle, and of course make a grand entrance. She often competes with female guests on the show for Kermit’s attention. Even though he isn’t always a great boyfriend to her, Miss Piggy’s love for Kermit is endless. Don’t worry though, when he messes up she’s sure to let him know with a karate chop to the head. Technically, Miss Piggy and Kermit are no longer dating, but I choose to ignore that since that was part of the plot of an ABC special series from 2015 and it wasn’t all that good. I think they’re meant to be.

Fozzie Bear and Gonzo (the Great) just don’t do it for me. People get upset when I tell them that but this is my Substack and I’ll do what I want! Fozzie is an aspiring comedian. I say aspiring because he hasn’t quite figured it out yet. Gonzo is an aspiring stunt man. I say aspiring because he always fails. I think both Fozzie and Gonzo rely on slapstick comedy which I just don’t find funny. Both are important to the show, and people clearly love them, but they just aren’t for me. Moving on!

Statler and Waldorf are a package deal. They’re these two old men who sit up in a private box and yell at the performers. They never find anything good or funny or interesting and they’ll make sure you know it. Their only role is to criticize. They’re clearly best friends because they’re always together. If you’re wondering, Waldorf is the short one and Statler’s the tall one.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker are similarly a team. Dr. Honeydew tests his strange products on poor Beaker. Beaker kind of always looks like he’s in fear, probably because he knows he’s going to have to test out some insane products. It’s like animal testing but worse because Beaker isn’t an animal, he’s a Muppet! Skits with them are almost always product tests gone wrong. Together they’re called Bunsen and Beaker. Get it?

The Swedish Chef is another one I don’t really care for. He speaks in gibberish and makes a bunch of food which usually ends in disaster. I don’t want to say he’s my least favorite Muppet, but he’s up there.

Rowlf the Dog was actually Henson’s first famous muppet on The Jimmy Dean Show starting in 1963. He’s The Muppet Show’s resident piano player and the main doctor in the recurring Veterinarian’s Hospital sketch. He’s very deadpan, which is why I like him. His humor isn’t as in-your-face as Fozzie and Gonzo. People have said Rowlf is the Muppet most like Henson himself.

The Muppet show would die without Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, aka the coolest Muppets. My screensaver has been Dr. Teeth for years. He’s got a shiny gold tooth right in the front and wears a fringe vest and feathered hat. He plays the keyboard. Jim Henson was a quiet guy, but you’d never know it from watching Dr. Teeth. Henson was his original performer. He’s technically a real doctor, or dentist. His full name is Gerald Teeth, Jr. D.D.S. His mom was a dentist and his dad her assistant. He says his gold tooth was made from his gold records melted so he can put his money where his mouth is, but he’s said other explanations too. I don’t love the post-Henson Muppet stuff but the Electric Mayhem had their own show (which I never finished) and a lot of this information is from there. I guess I’ll trust it because it’s a show literally about them. Animal is the band’s drummer. You probably know him already. He loves the drums and is a little scary. Floyd Pepper plays the bass and is able to control animal. Apparently, he’s been taking care of Animal since he was a baby. Zoot plays the saxophone and is pretty mellow. He rarely talks, though he got more talkative as more Muppet content came out. Lips joined in season five and plays the trumpet. He’s not super important because he was added later. Lastly, we have Janice, lead guitarist. She talks with a STRONG California accent (for sure is always pronounced as fer sure). She’s like a hippie but cooler and always puts others before herself. The band gets around in a psychedelic school bus painted all over. The inside is filled with records and tapestries. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect. I think the band is the best part of the Muppets franchise, even if their parts are limited. Look at how cool they are:

Lastly, we have Scooter and Sam Eagle. Scooter is a gofer, whose uncle owns the theater. He handles a ton of the behind the scenes work for the show and kind of keeps the place running. Even though he’s a nepo baby, he doesn’t let that carry him and works hard. He thinks Fozzie is funny even when he’s not. When you think about it, I’m kind of like Sam Eagle but cooler. He works to make the show both cultural and educational. He is horrified by the nonsense that entertains society these days. He likes solitaire and checkers. He is kind of the show’s censor. Ok maybe I’m not like Sam Eagle. He’s a little more serious than I am but I like that he keeps everyone in check.

Common segments on the show include Pigs in Space, Veterinarian’s Hospital, At the Dance, and Muppet News Flash. Pigs in Space features Miss Piggy, and other pig Muppets, trying to keep their ship running. They almost always fail. Veterinarian’s Hospital is Rowlf, Miss Piggy, and Janice cracking jokes while working on unusual patients. At the Dance is my favorite sketch. It’s all different Muppets dancing to ballroom music and making jokes. You quickly find that not all the Muppets are great dancers. Muppet News Flash features a newsman Muppet reporting on what’s going on in the Muppet world with the segment usually ending with something funny happening to the newsman.

The stars themselves also have segments geared toward their talents. In Mark Hamill’s episode, he and Luke Skywalker both appear, but never at the same time. It’s all very mysterious. Ethel Merman sings “Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better)” with Miss Piggy. It’s a nod to Merman being the original Annie Oakley in musical Annie Get Your Gun. That episode has always been my favorite. It didn’t matter that no one knew who Ethel Merman was. Elton John sings “Crocodile Rock” surrounded by Muppet crocodiles. The guests were technically the stars of the show, but I think the Muppets are what make it special. In fact, guest typically asked to be on the show instead of the other way around. Celebrities considered The Muppet Show to be a way in which they could showcase their different talents and perhaps reach a bigger audience. Plus, the Muppets make everyone look better.

The Muppet Show has somehow been able to remain entertaining almost 50 years later. In part, this is possible because you don’t need to know the celebrities to enjoy the show. I still don’t totally know why Connie Stevens was famous, but I love her episode. The humor doesn’t rely on dated situations and the show didn’t engage in stereotypical television tropes. Its uniqueness worked in its favor. I think the ambiguity of the show’s audience also helps. The Muppet Show is appropriate for kids, but it has guests adults recognize. The humor is engaging to everyone. So I don’t like Gonzo’s failed stunts, I highly doubt kids get what Rowlf is saying half the time. It all balances out. I’m writing this at my job and as soon as I finish I’m going to rewatch one of my favorite episodes: Ethel Merman, Connie Stevens, or Twiggy. It mostly makes sense these are my favorites. The Ethel Merman and Twiggy episodes are on disc four of the box set my parents bought. It was released in 2007 which checks out. Connie Stevens was on disc one with Juliet Prowse, whose episode I also remember well. The DVD case these were held in is long gone, but I can still remember opening it up and flipping through discs of The Little Mermaid and Little House on the Prairie in order to find The Muppet Show. Times have changed and The Muppet Show is long past production but I still love it. I wasn’t able to decorate my graduation cap when I finished high school, but I can for college. I can tell you right now that it’s going to be me with all the Muppets. They’ll never get old to me, and I’ll never get too old for them.

1. “The Muppet Show Theme”

2. “Lydia the Tattooed Lady” by Kermit

3. “Cottleston Pie” by Rowlf

4. “Rainbow Connection” by Kermit

5. “Movin’ Right Along” by Kermit and Fozzie

6. “Can You Picture That” by Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem

7. “Bein’ Green” by Kermit

8. “Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better)” by Ethel Merman and Miss Piggy

9. “In My Life” by Twiggy

10. “Man or Muppet” by Jason Segel and Walter